In Memoriam

Sept. 11, 2001…no one will ever forget where they were, what they were doing and what they felt when those planes hit two of the grandest buildings in the world. 

It was my second day working part time for a structural engineering firm near Union Square as I worked towards obtaining my Master’s degree. I was excited because I so looked forward to the new school year and this new opportunity that was allowing me to focus on my degree.  The morning was absolutely gorgeous, the air was crisp and the sky was crystal clear. Still trying to get my bearings of the neighborhood I took the wrong train to work and as I walked up University Place towards Union Square I could hear the sound of a plane pass over my head. My initial thought was that the plane sounded a little too low, a little too close, however I was becoming a New Yorker, I dismissed it as a possible movie shoot and kept walking.

There was a man coming towards me and the look that spread across his face literally stopped me in my tracks – confusion, disbelief. I turned to see what he was staring at the looked into a perfect outline of an airliner in the side of one of the towers.  I had missed the initial explosion but there was the outline and a thin trail of smoke. At first people were confused, amazed and I watched as people ran in and out of the camera shop ahead of me to buy disposable cameras so that they can capture this unfathomable moment. 

I decide to continue my trip to work as I was only about a block or so away and as I approached the front of the building was almost flattened by one of the partners from the engineering firm as he ran into the street to view for himself what was happening.  Walking into the reception area I informed the receptionist what had happened and she looked at me in disbelief. As news spread throughout the office my co-workers gathered, hanging out of windows to catch a bird’s eye view of the action. It was not long after a second plane appeared then hit the second tower. That is when it sunk in that this was no accident. Panic set in, we began jumping online to see if there were any reports, trying to call loved ones but by that time cell signals had already been shut down and the land lines were so jammed that the chances of a call getting through were very slim. 

I managed to speak with a co-worker from the company in which I had just left, she lived in Jersey City and was looking for a way out as well. I told her that I had tried contacting my parents and couldn’t reach them and knew they were worried. She took their number and promised to give them a call. I would later find out that the call she placed to my parents’ home was the ONLY one that she managed to get thru successfully. This is when my journey began. 

As reality set that we were under attack the folks in my office were trying to decide how we were going to get out of Manhattan as the authorities had already shut down all mass transit.  It was noon when I left the office and headed uptown, on foot, towards my old office in search of my friend. I walked up from 11^th St. to 41^st Street via Lexington Ave.  It was a long, long, scary walk. Passing cars covered in debris, people walking around looking totally lost, the sirens, the soldiers beginning to walk the street I felt as if I was in the Twilight Zone. I finally reached 41^st St. only to find that my friend already left and headed home to I began my solo trek across town as the only way off the island was by boat. All transit had been suspended.

Walking thru midtown was surreal. It was eerily quiet and in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, I stood in the middle of Times Square. There was almost dead silence, no people, no cars, absolutely nothing, hell it was so desolate tumbleweed would have almost been appropriate. Everyone was literally running for their lives. I continued my trip westbound in hopes that I could get back to New Jersey.   

As I approached the Westside Highway I realized my journey was far from over. The line to the ferry back to NJ stretched from 41^st Street to 46^th Street and wrapped around 2-3 times over. What was really interesting was that the process was strangely orderly, there was no pushing and shoving, there was no hostility, everyone just fell into line and waited there turn. Reality had sunk in that we were in this together. 

I stood in line for several hours waiting for my turn to board a boat and made friends with the folks standing around me. Waiting with me was a newly engaged man who told me all about his fiancé as we waited and also a woman who escaped the towers with a nice sized gash in her shoulder that she earned as she fell down the stairs trying to run for her life. There were injured people, people covered in soot and we stood, together and shared our stories as we watched Manhattan turn into a war zone. There were F16’s flying over head and Hummers full of soldiers holding M-16s driving past, us racing towards what would used to be the site of the Twin Tower and would later be named Ground Zero. 

Finally it was time for me to board the boat. The constant chatter amongst the waiting passengers ceased and silence took over.  My emotions began to take control as I began to feel guilty for leaving the island knowing there were multitudes of people that were being left behind. Me and my two new friends stood together and watched Ground Zero burn in silence and we made our way across the water and after being dumped in Weehawken we said goodbye, wished each other well and boarded our respective buses to go on to complete our journeys home. 

My bus dropped me at Hoboken Station and I was then able to take a train back to my town and took the last few minutes of my walk home to soak in a bit of solitude. I will NEVER forget the look on my mother’s face when I walked thru the door, it was at that point that I knew that even though my friend had called to tell them that I was ok they still were not sure that I wasn’t dead.  

After talking to my parents for a while I went to bed. I slept for a while but the nightmares took control, the first of many that I would have for months to come. The next day even though I wished that the nightmare from the day before had actually been a dream, my aching body quickly reminded me that it had very much been a reality. 

I don’t tell my story often as I feel very silly doing so. I didn’t lose a loved one, matter of fact I didn’t know anyone that died. However on Sept. 11, 2001 my life changed drastically. That naïve, safe bubble I had been living in had been burst. The world had changed and NO ONE would ever be the same.   

So on this day of reflection I continue to pray….I pray for those that lost their lives in the Towers, in the Pentagon and in that field in PA. I pray for the heroes that gave their lives that day and continue to give their lives as they deal with the effects of working tirelessly at Ground Zero. I pray for the families of those who lost their lives. I pray for our armed forces as they continue to fight for our freedom and protection daily. And lastly I pray for myself….that one day I can finally be at peace.

Amen.