I’ve
noticed that people from different regions have very different ways of dealing
with the “issue” of personal space. Recently
on a trip to LA I noticed that people like to stick a little close, as if there’s
a certain type of security that comes with sitting close to someone. For example if a bar is fairly empty chances
are a person will come in and sit in the empty seat right next to you instead
of the cluster of empty seats across the bar. My co-worker offered what may be
a little insight to this issue…..in a town where the goal is to be seen, I
guess this is the way to do it. They get a pass….I guess.
Southern
Hospitality is real! In the south people also tend to be less space conscious.
People are friendlier, they are more likely to strike up a friendly conversation,
they touch when they speak which also means that chances are they are more
likely to have less regard for any personal space. FYI – expect a hug and/or
kiss on the cheek when you greet someone and also when you say goodbye.
Now in the
Northeast there’s a very different approach. New Yorkers are rude, they mind
their own business, they travel with ear buds and generally have no interest in
what’s happening right next to them. Even though NYC is generally WAY over
populated, I’ve always been in awe of the fact that when on the street you
never really feel too crowded. People understand that a certain amount of
distance is required in order for one to feel secure. When people violate this unspoken
spatial law, it does make New Yorkers a little unnerved – particularly because
they feel like there’s always potential for your pockets to be picked.
With that said, I have noticed that there have been some changes in “the force” here in NYC. As I stood outside of the deli across the street from my job patiently waiting for my co-worker to get her lunch a gentleman approached me. Now….the guy approached me to give me a sales pitch on a new physical therapy facility that was opening up in our neighborhood, or so he says. He however was standing SO close to me during this sales pitch that I could feel his breath on my cheek. I decided to step back, but as I did he also took a step - forward. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because anyone that passed us on the street had given us an awkward glance because they were not sure if we were having a discussion OR if he was preparing to assault me. Finally my co-worker appeared which gave me the perfect opportunity to end the conversation on a semi-polite note and retreat to the safety of my office at which time I felt the need to disinfect.
Not even
two days later I decide to revisit this same deli for my own lunch. I am not a fan of the lunch time rush so I
generally make my lunch runs prior to noon. As I stand around waiting for the
cook to fulfill my order in this EMPTY
deli another customer walks up to the counter and also places an order. Any
other day this action would not have been disturbing however today it took a
weird turn when after completing his order he then proceeded to stand pretty
much shoulder to shoulder with me as we waited for our lunch. Of course for me, panic set in, I could feel
my blood pressure rise and I began to sweat, something wasn’t right, he was too
close, I didn’t feel safe. LUCKILY at that very moment just before I felt the
need to react…the cook produced my order, I quickly paid and once again
retreated back to my office.
My proclamation – I am a New Yorker by default. I expect you to maintain at LEAST an elbow’s length worth of space between you and I at ALL times. When you speak to me please maintain a respectable distance, no one should think we are a couple, ESPECIALLY if I don’t even know you.
**As I sit
here writing this it has suddenly dawned on me that maybe I should stop patronizing
this particular deli SMH.**
